Sunday, April 6, 2008

Let them eat cake!

Sunday night is one of the few nights we actually have dessert. On the menu tonight was an yummy orange cake with chocolate frosting.

Orange Cake with Chocolate Frosting

1 pkg Orange Cake mix
3 eggs
1 1/3 C water
1/3 C oil

Chocolate Frosting from a can.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees, plus another 50 degrees because the oven is off. Grab two round cake pans from the cabinet. Put back the other pans that fall out. Spray with non-stick cooking spray. The box instructions advise flouring the pan. Debate whether or not the step is actually necessary. Go ahead and try the flour since the flour is already sitting on the counter from the last time you made cookies.

Dig into the lower cabinet to find a metal mixing bowl. Replace everything that has fallen out in the process. Open cabinet again and remove the mixer. In the mixing bowl, mix together the cake mix, oil and water.

Retrieve eggs from the refrigerator. Replace everything the toddler has grabbed out of the fridge in the 15 seconds it was open. Quickly run to the eggs to prevent toddler from breaking them open. Add eggs to mixing bowl.

Beat on low speed 30 seconds, then on medium speed 2 minutes. Question why you really spend the time to do this but then remember something about egg proteins bonding together and making things more fluffy.

Pour batter into prepared pans. Tell children who are now begging for the beaters to wait just a gosh darn minute. Hand off goopy beaters and scraper to children.

Bake cake in oven for 30 minutes.

Begin cleaning up mess. Feel relief that the children are busy developing some sort of raw food illness from licking the batter with raw eggs and are out of your way so you can clean.

Sit down for 15 minutes. Breathe.

Ask older child to play blocker for the toddler so you can get the hot cake out of the oven. Wait for the cake to cool.

Meanwhile, make dinner. Remove toddler from the kitchen table. Toss potatoes in a pot with water and boil. Remove toddler from the kitchen table. Toddler is now completely naked. Get toddler dressed. Put chicken in the oven. Remove toddler from the kitchen table. Toddler is again completely naked. Chase toddler into her room sister's room. Grab toddler who tries to hit you in the face with the beater you let her have earlier. Take beater away and pull out more clothes. Turn back to see toddler is now climbing the bunk beds. Put the beater down and rescue toddler. Find duct tape and affix it to her clothing as you dress her so she can no longer strip.

Set table for dinner. Realize you need to wash laundry for school uniforms. Do laundry.

Return to kitchen. Drain potatoes. Dig through the cabinets and realize you have no stock to make mashed potatoes and must use milk. (trust me, stock is much better for flavor than milk!). Prepare to mash potatoes but realize you can't find the other beater. Retrace steps to find it where you left it in the bedroom.

Call family to table. Eat dinner in relative peace.

Cake is now cool. Try to remove from pan and realize the flour didn't really help and it's coming out in pieces. Apply frosting on bottom layer. Add top layer. Apply frosting on top and sides. Fill big gaping hole on side with frosting so the cake will stop falling apart.

Decide you might want to blog about this. Grab the camera which is sitting right on the counter where you've been looking for it for three days. Turn camera on. Watch the "battery empty" message appear. Try again. and again. and again. Hear husband and children demand cake already. Slice it up. Add ice cream. Hear the silence of full mouths.

collapse in exhaustion from trying to bake and frost a cake.

1 comment:

  1. Wow. I am exhausted just reading this. You do have a Superman cape, don't you??


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