Friday, July 16, 2010

The poop story

D's been a bit sensitive lately about what I've been posting on the blog. Some of the stories are getting back to him. But, he posted this on Facebook, so I'm assuming rights to his story and posting it here. I alluded to the incident in my last post, but here's the whole's a classic, and it contains poop, so be warned...

As I've mentioned, I'm recovering from a hysterectomy. I'm supposed to be taking it easy. With six kids, that's not exactly easy. I've had amazing help from friends and family.

When Wednesday night rolled around, I was not in the mood to deal with Little Miss and The Terrorist. Leelee has been a great help, but she can't juggle both of them either. I begged D to take The Terrorist with him to the church. He reluctantly agreed.

About an hour into things he texts "Guess what your daughter did?"

I knew it involved bodily functions because I know my kid and I know that he probably wasn't paying total attention to her, because I know my husband.

I haven't been to church in a few weeks with all the illnesses. My job at our church is to handle the library. With me being gone, people had just thrown things in and it was all out of sorts. D was being helpful and decided to put things away. Instead of entertaining The Terrorist with paper and crayons he put her in the nursery without an adult (biggest mistake you can make with a kid nicknamed TERRORIST)

At some point in his organizing, one of the moms tracks D down and hands him The Terrorist who is sopping wet, stinky and no longer wearing any pants.

The Terrorist is very self sufficient. She is three and no longer needs help to do anything. When she had to go to the bathroom for poop, she took herself. And when she didn't make it in time, she decided to clean herself up. In order to accomplish this, she took off her pants and undies and dunked them in the toilet as she had seen me do many times at home during our efforts to potty train.

She also realized that her bottom had poop on it and the dry toilet paper was very ineffective. She remembered that when she had an accident, I would toss her in the shower. Since there was no shower available, she climbed up on the counter, turned on the water in the sink and proceeded to try to clean her hiney off in the sink.

It is at this point in time, she was apprehended and placed into the custody of her father.

D then had the wonderful task of cleaning this mess up. Someone had come to his rescue with a spare pull up, which she promptly finished pooping in.

After the stress of the last few weeks, I really needed that laugh. I needed him to have a poop experience. After six children, he finally got to experience one of those days.

When they finally got home, my darling little Terrorist continued to live up to her reputation by swallowing a penny. We've never dealt with swallowed objects before. The other children preferred to stink things up their noses. She's able to eat and drink, so I'm not worried about the penny at all. This too shall pass...


Thanks and have a great day!