Monday, January 2, 2012

Things I want my kids to learn this year

I set goals for myself and feel it is fair I set out a list of things I want my kids (and other family members) to learn this year.

1. Loading and unloading the dishwasher. This one in particular needs to be mastered by The Boy and Little B. They are almost 15 and 10, respectively. After 6 months in this house, I should not be finding my large glass measuring cup on the shelf where the plastics go. With open shelving and only four kitchen drawers, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that just maybe the large spatula does not go in the silverware drawer.

D seems to think I need to label things and accuses me of moving things around. No, things are only moved around because the kids keep putting them away wrong!

And they really have no excuses because Little Miss (2) know where everything  goes. And she will correct you if you even put it four inches from where last she saw it.

While we're in the kitchen, let's discuss the peanut butter

2. Lids back on the peanut butter and jelly when done. Again, another simple, easy to master task. Use it. Put it away.

Which brings us to #3

3. Peanut butter on the shelf. Jelly in the fridge. Preferably peanut butter with the knife removed and lid replaced on the shelf. Jelly with the knife removed and lid replaced in the fridge.

While we're discussing knife removal...

4. Knife does not belong in the mayo jar. I don't care if the lid still fits with the knife in there. YUK.

Speaking of food rules to master this year, we have to go back to the peanut butter. Peanut butter is real hot button issue for me.

5. Do not open a new jar of PB without making sure there isn't one already open. Check the counter under the plastic from the bread someone left out of the BREAD box. Move the box of salt someone placed in the wrong spot. If you can't find it there, check the refrigerator, because it's probably behind the milk.

6. The Bread box holds the bread. We're not out of bread. It's actually put away. Novel concept. And if the bread box really is empty, check the freezer. If that by chance is empty, put a note on the chalkboard wall. I'll forget if you tell me. I will. Just like I forgot to sign school papers, permissions slips, and about a half dozen other things that never got put up on the reminder wall. There's only so much data my head can hold. And right now, I'm playing Words with Friends...and losing...badly.

7. The Cat is lying to you. Josie gets fed twice a day. That's it. I don't care that she's whining at you. I don't care that her bowl is empty. She's fat. And if everyone keeps feeding her every time her bowl is empty, she might explode. And I'm not cleaning up cat guts.

8. Do not complain about being cold. Especially if you are wearing shorts, a t-shirt and no socks.

9. Library books need to be returned when they are due. Not a month later.

Segue into ...

10. Rooms need cleaning frequently. If we find a stack of library books two months over due under the bed, you are not cleaning your room often enough. I will not be as generous next time in paying off your finds. We will, of course, ignore the fact that I have my own unpaid fines and have to use the kids' cards to check out books.

11. No pogo sticking on or off the following: the trampoline, the porch, the second floor porch, the roof, the stairs, or inside the house. Please also note that Danger Girl is strictly forbidden from pogo sticking blindfolded, wearing roller blades, while hula hooping or while juggling. Well, she's getting pretty good at the hands free pogo sticking so we may have to revisit the juggling rule later.

Above all, I want my children to do more of this...

12. Laugh. At yourself. At your family. Except your sister during that special time of the month. Because the family just does not need that. We are a funny group. Have you seen yourselves?


  1. Since you play "Words With Friends" you might like to visit my blog to try my TV trivia anagram game. Unscrambling letters to make words is good practice for WWF.

  2. Your post made me giggle today! Thank you! It's good to know that there are other families like mine in the universe! Good luck!

  3. Hi Micki, your children's goals crack me up! I remember those days and guess what? I miss all those things that drove me crazy. The pogo stick on the trampoline...can totally see that one.
    Thanks so much for linking up and leaving a comment today at Project Queen!

  4. Quite frankly, I'm a little freaked out that you've been spying on my kitchen. :) Great post.

  5. This made me laugh so SO hard! I have issues with almost all those same thing... just not the mayo. Ewwww! I've never been MORE GLAD that I buy the squeezable mayo that no knife can fit into! ACK!

    And PS, I think the dishwasher thing is a ploy to get out of unloading it. We've lived in this house for 7.5 years... my 10 year old STILL asks me where things go. I'm on to his evil plot. I WILL foil him!

    Thanks for linking up for #SundayFunday!

    (PS, turn off your captcha!!)


Thanks and have a great day!